Time: 4:37 (right after first Zoom meeting with Heidi)
Mood (1 to 10, 10 = fantastic, 1 = absolutely horrible): 8 I can't complain but it's not like it's my wedding day (a 10 for sure) but I'm not also not depressed or overwhelmed or bored/distracted/asleep. I feel invigorated, motivated, confident, hopeful, and ready to apply the changes I need to make in order to achieve the standard of mental health that I deserve and that I want to be at for the sake of my family and friends. Let's go self care! After this I'm gonna take a shower. I think I showered on...Sunday.
Last Meal: I ate a little Greek yogurt cup, it was coconut flavored. That was after lunch where I had some fresh fried rice with shrimp in it. It was a big deal for me to have made enough food for both me and Alex to eat, as well as having timed my own eating schedule so that I would be hungry at the same time as him. Sometimes I'm just not hungry at 11:30 because I've had a bowl of cereal at 10:30 or something. Usually frosted mini-wheats.
Current level of exercise: I went for a walk on, like, Saturday or Sunday or Monday but I can't remember which. I told Alex I wanted to go out for exercise and he was like "oh, what brought this on?" and I just told him I'd been talking with people and hearing a lot of people mention how important exercise is for treating depression, AND anxiety, AND attention deficit disorder, and all this stuff... So I guess I had finally finagled my brain around the concept of wanting to challenge myself to exercise, instead of being stuck in the cycle of shame for having not exercised for a long time and not wanting to even think about exercising because that made me feel horrible. We walked to the park and back, probably a mile or less I think. We played Pokemon Go and that was fun. He's been playing a lot more regularly than me, I kinda gave up when I forgot to log in every day and keep going to parks or church to spin a Pokestop to keep my streak going. But he's kept up with it and he's evolved so many more of his Pokemon than me! It's still fun in that even if I don't play it much, at least I get to check up on his progress once in a while and see the cool evolution animation for a new Pokemon that I've never watched, or hear about the update and what kinds of things you can do now in the game. I got him back into playing it in like March of 2019 when we were at Kayla and Caleb's wedding rehearsal dinner, and we both played for a few months until he left me in the dust xD
Meds: Up to date with all of them! :)
-Adderall: Took both 15mg dosages at the planned times (9am and 2pm)
-Prozac: Took 60mg at 9am as planned
-Coffee: Had my single cup of sugar free coffee at 7am as planned
General schedule of the day: Alex asked if I could do some more laundry when he left after lunch, so I've been cycling a few loads through after I finished running the dishwasher (I want the dishwasher water to be as hot as possible so I don't run it at the same time as the washing machine or a shower. Idk, it's just a leftover habit/standard that I have from when I worked as a dishwasher.)
Objective: Today, around when Alex gets home (between 5:00-5:30), I want to have dinner ready and be ready to start watching the season of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure that features the two side-characters that Alex and I are dressing up as for Halloween. We decided to stay in instead of going out with his siblings to a brewery today with that in mind.
Dump Zone: Okay so I kinda need to start dinner now, I have a few things in the fridge that I can heat up, but I don't want to do a repeat of either last night's dinner option or today's lunch, so I might need to cook a whole new thing. I've got mac and cheese and hotdogs, it's not the most nutritional, though, so I could have a veggie on the side? I think that should fill the requirements of being easy and yummy. I did want to take a shower but I don't know. I wouldn't have time to shave. I can just take a fast one for the sake of being clean because I don't need any more excuses to skip showering. I'm just gonna post this and send Heidi the link to it and jump in the shower right away!
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